Necessary Email

Two days in a row, I started the communication, which is so not the norm. I think the opening to my email says it all. The rest of the email reinforces my habits of no structure to my emailing and how prone I am to boredom.

10:14 AM

Haven’t talked to you in like a day! WTFuck is up with that?!?!

How was working on things yesterday? It’ll get better/easier (yay cheerleader!)

I’m bored. I was going to do work, but I can’t get motivated. Letting the cousin sleep a little while longer before we head to a museum. Not even sure which one. Maybe I should look that up.

You going out for drinks with peoples this evening? I was thinking about emailing peoples about going out tomorrow evening. Or maybe I’ll just text that later. After we figure out the plan for tomorrow besides him coming to class with me.

Ummmmmm. Let’s see. What else. Oh yeah. Food yesterday was great. Comedy was also great. And then we came home and did work. Nerdtastic!

That’s all.

Ps. Look at me learning to entertain you while you’re at the job you can be entertained at!

Explanation of the postscript might be in order. Typically, Natalie emails me during Job1 because it’s her receptionist job, and she isn’t constantly busy. It’s her morning job, so I tend to sleep through about half of her shift. Her afternoon job is much busier, which is awful for me. It’s right around that time that I feel like I should be doing work so I start to look for ways to distract myself and avoid work. At least today I was doing it right. And it seemed to have an effect on her.

10:47 AM

So have I told you today that I love you? You’re hilarious. (Awww, thanks for noticing, Natalie.) I may go to a work function tonight or I’ll meet up with you guys. Not sure yet. So Saturday night was fantastic. David came over and we had sex all night and stayed up until literally 7am, which then made it so I slept all day yesterday (literally until 5, fan-fucking-tastic). But apparently I really needed the sleep because I was still able to go to bed last night at 10 and slept like a baby. Go figure. Anyway, it was really fun and just what I needed. So feeling great today, well rested, sexy outfit, doing work.

I saw another roach in my place last night. Totally freaked out again. This time it was in my living room which is REALLY REALLY not cool because now I can’t even relax on my couch without being paranoid. Definitely getting an exterminator in there this weekend, no questions asked. That’s half the reason I went to bed so early was because I couldn’t sit on my couch because I felt so uncomfortable (Ps. I tried to kill it with a book and missed and lost it!!!). Anyway, seriously can’t handle bugs. I was shaking like a leaf for like half an hour and then barricaded myself in my room and woke up throughout the night paranoid that there was one on my bed somewhere. HORRIBLE feeling! I have now seen three in there… meaning they are there and must be destroyed. Mission… GO!

So Job1 is having dinner and drinks tonight for the whole office. Should I go?

Anyway, keep me posted and feel free to continue to distract me :).

 She adopted my topic-jumping monologue style. All were important points, so it had to be discussed.

10:58 AM

Go you and your attempts at bug killing! Baby steps, my dear, baby steps. Someday you’ll be fine.

Well, cousin and I probably won’t make it out for drinks tonight because we’re going to the movie, but maybe tomorrow night drinks? So you could do both! You could go to dinner then meet up with everyone for drinks and convince them to go out tomorrow evening too. Just for a drink or two. Nothing crazy. Need to calmly wind down the New York adventures with one last small night/evening on the town. Also, I really want him to meet Mark. And I think Mark is trying to avoid that at all costs. Stupid boy. It might almost be Natalie wingman verbal-bitchslap-tastic time. We’ll see how this week goes. Meh.

Ummmmmmmm my hands are cold. There was a little sleet mixed in the rain. I had a couple pieces of candy for breakfast. I’ve been awake for a while. Should be grading. I think I’ll watch some Netflix.

So that middle paragraph brings a lot to the table. My cousin and I got to a movie screening - very New York experience for a visitor. Also, our friends wanted to meet for drinks as we try to do about every month or so. I was successful in steering others to go out the second night as opposed to the first. It was lovely and turned into one of those nights that ended later than planned. Worth it. And the Mark thing. That’s a long story for another day. The short version is that I am the girliest girl ever when it comes to him. It’s a little embarrassing, but what can you do? Someday I will regain my senses. Or win. Time will tell.

I would like to point out how great that conclusion of the email is. Definitely one of those emails that epitomizes the address of this blog.

11:03 AM

You are officially the queen of procrastination. I love it! I am calling you in like 10 minutes FYI…

Oh really…

11:04 AM

I’m answering your call in like 10 minutes FYI…

Yes, that was a necessary email. So was her response.

11:06 AM

Hehehehehe

Like a sailor

Sometimes the subject line is almost as good and important as the punch line. Today I started the email chain to Natalie, which is why it started in the afternoon instead of the morning.

3:56 PM

Subject: I just realized my throat doesn’t hurt that bad!

Body: And I had to share with someone!!!!!!

I’m obviously easily excited about the little things. The day before had been spent kind of complaining about it to her via email (and others that I talked to in real life). It was a warning in case I was going to bail on the usual Thursday night routine. If I give her a heads up, then she can’t be that mad when I do flake out. This is a lesson that anyone can take advantage. I go on to explain how I’m not completely better, and I believe the rambling in the rest of the email is evidence of this fact.

But yeah, if I don’t feel 100% (or very close to it) tomorrow, probably going to bail on The Bar :(. Tragedy, I know, but I need/want to be completely better for my cousin’s visit this weekend. Ps. Trying to convince him to watch football on Saturday. We play at 3:30. FYI: Might find a bar in Brooklyn. Something new. Spice it up. Etc.

But if I feel okay, can we still make it an early evening? I’ll make it up to you by going out Friday night (if he’s not too tired from traveling), and Saturday during the day. And other adventures. Gooooooooooood times.

(Notice how I set up a makeup date while also giving myself an out. Genius.)

Ps. I’m watching ‘Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs’. So fucking cute. I can hardly stand it.

Also, in the craziness that is my day, I’m going to have a not-so-fun phone call with my ex tonight. He’s fucking up his life even more than before. Honestly, I think he’ll listen to me. And I think he needs to talk to someone who understands him. Poor guy.

Okay. Back to grading.

Sometimes I swear like a sailor. Sometimes it happens while I’m talking about children’s films. Fucking deal with it. Also, the punctuated, short sentences tend to be how I talk in real life, and I love that it can be conveyed through text.

Even though I bounce from topic to topic, dropping bombshells about the ex and expressing my love of movies, sometimes Natalie will only focus on one aspect of said email. Her reply is just that.

4:21 PM

Well then. Funny you say you’re feeling better because I definitely woke up with a sore throat. Went to the doctor today and took the afternoon off. Anyway, you can’t bail on The Bar tomorrow. I need some stress relieving flirtation. Come on. 2 beers?

So psyched to meet the cousin! We will definitely show him a good time. When does he get in?

Keep me posted and keep resting so you feel 100%.

It’s like she didn’t even read the second half of the email! I can’t really blame her though. We all get a little boy crazy sometimes, and she focused on the part of my message that would lead her to the boy. We did end up feeling well enough to go to the bar. I believe it was one of those nights where we stayed later than we intended and most likely had more than two beers. And we went out the following evening as well. Stayed until bar closing time. The cousin watched football with me on Saturday. We drank and adventured all day that day. Actually, I think saying all weekend would be more accurate, as he and I had more adventures that Sunday that Natalie did not partake in. Details in the next post since I, too, had to wait for email to find out why she did not answer my phone calls and/or join us that Sunday.

Cuss you, Jay Baruchel

Today the emailing was a little behind schedule. Natalie in all of her over-achieverness was doing work at work. I did not wake up to an email, and the first one I received was her asking for grammar advice. Now, I enjoy doing a little writing here and there, but I will be the first to admit that I do not have the best grammar in the world (and admitting that here is a blanket of “don’t correct my grammar). At least it ended with her asking how I was feeling. This was a couple days after Halloween, and I had been feeling a bit under the weather. I replied that her grammar looked fine to me (again, “good enough” might have been a more accurate phrase to use). As for my sickness, it was primarily just a sore throat. After a few days of serious rest, I think it had more to do with not sleeping very much and enjoying the New York paced lifestyle a bit too much. Natalie had finished her work (I guess) with my grammar comment, so she was able to focus on emailing and comforting me in my day of sickness.

11:12 AM

I haaaaaaaate sore throats. They are super annoying. You should go down to the corner store and buy some ice cream for yourself because you deserve it. You gonna be okay to cook tonight?

The plan for that night (for me) was for my roommate and I to have a friend over for dinner and a movie. These plans had been made before the sore throat set in, but I was determined to keep them. So I replied to her with an air of “I can write a coherent email”, meaning I wrote one short paragraph.

11:23 AM

I’m going to get some popsicles when I go grocery shopping. And probably some throat spray stuff. I assume I’ll be good to cook. Or maybe I should have my roommate reschedule with him for tomorrow night or something. I’ll that to her. And make those decisions later. I should go get groceries. Maybe after this movie.

At least I was very focused on going to get groceries and being productive for the day. That, and watching a movie.

11:35 AM

You are amazing. I love you. I am excited for Thursday, for no apparent girl reason or anything. And I think I might hang out with David tomorrow night. So tonight will be a night of cleaning and computer program fixing spectacularness. I have decided that in the name of Job2 embarrassment, I am going to work extra hard there and not go out with them for like at least 2 more weeks. Someone doesn’t know how to control her drinking when she gets excited. And since my boss gets me excited, it’s just a recipe for disaster. That girl who was emailing me stopped by my desk yesterday and was like, “You had a pretty out of control weekend, huh?” still alluding to the rumor of my make out session, which just really makes me mad. I think probably because I already have been doing things I shouldn’t that for someone to add one I didn’t do just puts me over the edge.

I determined last night that the reason I was feeling down was because I have been doing things quite often lately that I know are wrong and I do them anyway. This, ladies and gentlemen, is detrimental to the soul. Time to be a good person and stop being so selfish. Altruistic Natalie activate!

Hahaha. Enjoy your movie love and be as lazy as possible to get over this cold.

I included every bit of this email for a number of reasons. The first is that it shows how the conversation jumps from bit to bit and the back to the original conversation that would be the continuing from the previous message. Also, it brings up our Thursday routine yet again while addressing extreme girliness and crushes (hers being on the bartender since mine was addressed in the previous email). Now, Natalie is a fan of the men-folk. If you haven’t gathered this yet, you will. The event that she is hinting at happened the previous weekend. A coworker accused her of kissing another coworker of theirs and would not drop the issue. Natalie is an honest person, especially when it comes to these kinds of things. She would admit it if it were true. To me, to the coworkers, to anyone. So it is understandable why it would upset her.

Obviously, she didn’t want me to worry as her happy-go-lucky vibe returns for the conclusion of said email. Her dwelling on the boy issue (or really, the mention of essentially three boys in one email) sends my brain that direction.

11:51 AM

It’s times like this that I wish I had a boy who could come over and just sit on the couch with me to watch a movie. Oh wait, that might actually happen! But he won’t snuggle. But the snuggling is what I really want. Maybe he would. Probably not. Oh, but I wish! A girl can dream…

While I may not have a boy to snuggle me, I do have a kitty that senses my un-wellness. She keeps jumping on my bed to get my attention then jumping onto the floor and running around in circles, chasing her tail in the sunshine. The whole time looking up at me to make sure I’m watching. So cute. Silly kitty.

And this movie is terrible, but I’ll finish watching it. Cuss you, Jay Baruchel, for being so talented that you can make a would-be shitty movie not so awful and totally worth watching all the way through.

I should do some work.

Ramble ramble ramble.

Entertaining you while you work counts as work for me, right?

Sometimes you just have a day when you are feeling extra girly. Today was one of those days, apparently. Some days you also feel more like a cat lady. Again, today was one of those days.

And for the record, he did come over to watch the movie. Dinner was good. The movie was way better than the movie I was watching during the emailing extravaganza of the afternoon. Snuggles were not had.

It's Thursday!

On this particular Thursday, Natalie was already excited for the evening ahead and did not waste any time sending me a good morning email. The subject line of the email was the same as the title of this post. The enthusiasm is palpable. 

7:50 AM

Emergency 911, Batman! I forgot my phone at home, idiot!

To go and get it, that is the question. The thing is, I can’t leave Job2 until 6. It takes about 45 minutes to get to campus from there. If I go home it takes 30 minutes and then another 20 minute walk, which is doable. However, considering the long day plus the walking, I think I’ll pass. So anyway, the moral of the story is… I will not have my phone. I know you have office hours until 7, so my plan is just to make it to you by that time so that I don’t need to worry about using said phone.

The email then breaks into a rant that I will spare others from. Sometimes you just mention something in an email and the next thing you know your hands take control and type out a mini novel. It happens. We are all guilty of it. Just know that the email ended with this:

And she was like, “Yeah, please just tell me if its NOT working.” Like, WICKED bitchy.

Sorry I am rating about this in email (hope you’re not reading this on your phone).

So anyway, you, my dear, have a super productive day so you can run away with me at 7 and just remember I don’t have my telephone.

Oh, that’s sweet of her. Acknowledging that the first emails I usually read in a day are on my phone because I’m too lazy to get my computer and/or sit up properly. She’s considerate and then motivational in the final conclusion of the email.

Once I lift my lazy head up enough to open my laptop, which was most likely right next to me, I send her an eloquent response.

9:23 AM

I’ll write a short reply to your rant: I’ll just wait on campus until you get there. That work? Probably the best plan. See you then!

For some reason that concluded the correspondence for the day. I suspect that we were both actually productive and earned our night out at the bar.

Note: The double post today is a result of being too stressed on Thursday because of a job interview. Yes, I had a job interview. No, it wasn't for a super for real serious big girl job, but a job I really want nonetheless.

World Series

After a weekend apart, Natalie and I had to figure out some plans for mid-week catching up. She had ventured home for a relaxing weekend with her mother. I had gone on a weekend road trip with a few of our other friends. Stories needed to be exchanged. So, it was kind of understood that we would set out for our usual Thursday night plan of going to The Bar. On that Wednesday morning, we began working out the details.

9:29 AM

So I have been really sick the past two weeks and today is actually first day that I feel better, which is GREAT! I actually have energy and can hold my head up without wanting to kill someone. Fabulous! I can’t wait to go out tomorrow. I literally was really sick all weekend at home and didn’t get to even enjoy it (other than the having Mom take care of me part). So anyway, a night out is certainly in order.

Poor Natalie. Being so sick she couldn’t even enjoy a weekend at home, but really, if you are going to be sick at home, at least Mom can take care of you. I don’t care how old you are, that’s always a nice feeling.

So while we tend to be incredibly girly in our conversations, talking about boys and shopping and the like, I have my boyish attributes that my friends just accept. Yes, I am all about going out for a night with my friend to have fun. However, this particular Thursday was more important. Why? Because I had a football game to watch!

10:51 AM

And omg so excited for football tomorrow night!!!! It’s my motivation to do so much work allllll day!! Can’t wait! Seriously! I hope we win! (I might have been a teensy bit excited about the game.) And someone (don’t remember who) asked why The Bar. I replied that I can walk in there and go, “Put my game on! Like asap and then some! Fuck the World Series!” And then get a free beer. Sounds like a ton of win to me (and seriously, fuck the World Series, but go Giants!).

I think that answers all of your questions.

When you live in New York, you should never really yell, “Fuck the World Series” in a bar, regardless of which teams are playing, but it happens. It is also why we go to a bar that knows us very well.

Now back to our regularly scheduled programming…

11:02 AM

I can definitely put off my shopping adventure until Sunday, but I need you to say you’ll go with me because otherwise I’ll just get it over with on Saturday. Also, it sucks you guys are going to be gone Friday and Saturday and I can’t come. Whatevs. I’ll find someone, I mean, something to entertain myself.

Boys and shopping.

Le Swoon List

For whatever reason, there was a lull in the emails. Maybe Natalie was getting settled into her jobs better. Maybe I was doing more than sitting around all day thinking about doing work instead of doing work and maybe I was actually working. Regardless, there was a lack of exchanging of brilliance and ideas and mundane “how was your day” communications of the email variety. Emerging from this dormant period was a two email day. The first being from Natalie asking about my weekend getaway I had taken with some friends. The only notable comment from this entire exchange is regarding a boy building a fire.

10:14 AM

Not too much drunkenness. Hilarious car rides, some hiking, a canoe trip, Mark built a beautiful fire (add that to my “le swoon” list), etc.

Let me elaborate on this “le swoon” list. Every girl has one. These things are facts. It is just a compilation in your head of all the things someone you are attracted to can do that will make you all girly and mushy over them. Apparently, my love of being warm can be satisfied by a guy knowing how to make a stellar fire. This also involved boys chopping wood. Very manly. Very le swoon kind of girl reaction.

So that was the only highlight. Our wit was so drained by the moving fiascos (yes, plural) that we couldn’t even have a standard email conversation. Unless they were deleted. In which case, whoops.

Jet Fuel

At this point is has been nearly a week that Natalie has been staying with my roommates and I. She works all day. I pretend to work all day. It is a great setup. Since she is a guest in our home, she is without keys to the apartment. I do what any good hosting friend would do and send her a “here’s my plan for the day” kind of email in the morning. When I say “morning”, I mean my morning, so more like her afternoon.

11:04 AM

Soooooooo text me whenever you’re done at work or whatever. I’m going to get groceries on the way home or something.

Mundane. Boring. Not the best email. Unless you are Natalie and you pick up on the procuring groceries part of the email. As a response, I get an email full of information and topic changes. Note: the lack of paragraph breaks proves how these emails just flow right out of our fingertips.

11:10 AM

I’m suspecting today will be a LONG day so don’t feel like you have to wait around for me aka feel free to go home and cook me dinner upon my arrival. Just kidding! Although that would make you the ultimate wife and I would rethink divorcing you for your roommate…just a thought. But anyway, I am assuming I will get out of work around 6 or 7. Oh and P.S. know how I was complaining that I was falling asleep at work. Well this morning I was rather tired and then in the break room I found coffee called “jet fuel” and guess what… it really is jet fuel! I only had one cup and I am wide awake and ready to go. Think that’s bad for my heart or something? Oh well, I’M AWAKE!

Anyway, good luck with your errands and keep me posted on your location and I will do the same.

This exchange is extra great. Why? Because it is caffeine-fueled rambling! And it ends with a very sweet husband-like message. And yes, for the record, I did make dinner that night. I was not lying when I concluded my response email with “ULTIMATE WIFE FOR THE WIN!!” because not only did I mention cooking dinner, I also threw in more wifely duties for myself.

11:15 AM

Decided I’m cleaning my room on Saturday. And I might do laundry tomorrow before I go to campus. If you have anything you to throw in, let me know.

Some people were just made to be great friends. Or wives. Or both. Not sure which. Regardless, the offer was extended, and how could she refuse?

11:21 AM

HAHAHA The best part is all I really need to wash is underwear. And possibly my PJs. That’s so boy of me, except for the frilly lacy part. BE PRODUCTIVE AND GO! AKA stop watching ‘Weeds’, slacker.

If you are a fan of ‘Weeds’, then you probably understand exactly where I was coming from. I had mentioned in the previous email that I could not do anything for the day until I had finished the episode. It’s so hard to not watch the new episode when it is sitting there right in front of you! Lucky for me, and rest of the world, I can get work done while I watch ‘Weeds’. Well, sometimes. This was one of those times!

11:24 AM

Weeds over! And so worth it! Did this emailing and eating while I watched! Multitasking! My tea must be kicking in! It’s my version of jet fuel!

I have noticed from all of this emailing that my use of exclamation points increases with increasing tea consumption. Jet fuel will do that to you. 

Moving Day

Today we have a snippet from moving day. Natalie was moving out of her apartment, but had yet to find a new apartment. Through a little working of the magic and having splendid friends, she found a temporary home for her belongings and a separate home for her. For one week, she lived this hilarious life. Orchestrating such a moving day is no easy task. As such, there was a significant amount of planning that went in to the actual event. Most of the discussion took place over email.

Moving day is always stressful, regardless of the amount of planning. If you have a glass half-full kind of friend, like myself, you usually end up with unnecessary amounts of encouragement.

In the early morning hours, Natalie does not have as much to do at work. So I woke up to a mundane “here’s what happened today” email with this conclusion:

8:23 AM

AAHHHHHHHH How am I ever going to get through this day?

I snap into comfort mode and try to alleviate some stress with humor. If you have a nerdy friend like me, then you will get a response that goes something like this:

9:51 AM

Also, how big of a car are you getting? Fun fact: I’m awesome at Tetris and therefore packing up cars, so I should definitely be part of the moving team.

But does the amount of good friendiness stop there? Of course not! As the day drags on, Natalie begins to feel the weight of the day and pressures of her life. I emerge from the subway at my job to find a less enthusiastic email:

12:21 PM

I feel so low right now, like I want to cry. Cheer me up, please?

And cheer I shall!

1:19 PM

Why are you all low and sad face?!? You have so much going on and you’re doing so well in your life! You have a job (that pays really well), that allows you to live the life you want (you get to have an apartment all to yourself), and you can still do all of your research projects. You life in New York!! You have me (and I have you!). Boys fall at your feet in a single glance! You can have anything and everything that you want! I love you. Smile. I’ll call you when I get out of class. Did you get my text? Do you need cake? Ice cream? Ice cream cake? We could obtain those things. If you don’t want to go out tonight, we can go home and paint our nails, eat, drink, and watch crappy movies if you want.

And be happy you aren’t me. No job. No desire to even get a job. Probably going to end up bartending. And pining over a guy who doesn’t even care or notice even though he once did.

This sets the tone for the email antics that are rampant in our daily exchanges. There is cheering up going on from both sides. The subject of boys will come up often, as it will between girls. We have other topics, but let’s face reality here. At least we try to keep it lighthearted. And I’d like to go ahead and apologize for my tendency to be slightly self-deprecating. It is something I have tried to work on. Maybe in putting it out for the world to see I will see how truly unappealing it is and eliminate it from my communication.