Cliffhung

Sorry for the cliffhangers (if they could be considered that exciting to anyone but me), but here I am ready to complete the filling in the blanks and sharing of a pretty stellar (again, in my personal opinion) email exchange. The return to regular blogging will be aided by my traveling yet again. This flight is much longer than the last one I was on, so hopefully I can get caught up at least with this post and maybe prepare another post.

To catch up those of you who are too lazy to read the previous two posts (or if you read them the second they were posted but since it was so long ago you forgot what I was talking about), here’s a brief recap. Natalie and I are philosophizing and being girls and making plans and remembering the night before. There was a rapid exchange of emails that day as I prepared my brain to do some actual work. Don’t believe me? Check the timestamps. It’s a pretty quick back and forth, especially if you consider that Natalie is working and I was probably trying to find something to watch on Netflix and/or making tea (intense, I know). At the conclusion of the last post, Natalie had just explained how productive she was being and how she was going to concur the roaches that were attempting to infiltrate her apartment. As I believe I have addressed in some of the previous posts, I tend to have to make a list in order to get anything done. I like checking things off.

12:23 PM

A To-Do list! I should make one of those! Maybe after my shower. So I can think while I shower. Ps. I’m about to go take a shower. Then to-do list! Then doing things! Work things! Netflix things! I mean what?

I bet you’ll do better at the whole convincing yourself you don’t like the boy things. Fair warning though: sometimes you can convince yourself and then you see them. Happens to me everyday. But I’m such a girl about all of this, even more so than you. By like a lot. And I’m not a girly girl either. It’s fucking weird and gross and who am I?!?! But I can’t help myself, and I’m very much “live in the moment, go with the flow” kind of mentality.

Oh! I assume since the out-of-town visitor will be staying with you that we will all be going on adventures to celebrate the birth of one Mark? (And me too because I’m a greedy fuck and want at minimum a week of hardcore birthday celebrations amongst birthday month.) We’ll have to hatch some things. Or you hatch. Aka you plan with Mark (le sigh. Mark. Sorry, girly moment. Disgusting) and we’ll go from there.

Shower time! When I return, there will probably be more emailing! Maybe I’ll send you my to-do list!

Apparently I was too distracted thinking about boys (well, a specific boy) that I could not focus enough to make a to-do list, let alone shower. Notice that it’s about noon-thirty and I have been talking about making a list, getting off the couch, and showering for at least an hour. Just about the only thing I have accomplished is thoroughly entertaining someone while not doing my own work. Natalie appreciates it and joins in on the “let’s be super girly and borderline obnoxious in our discussion of boys” aspect of the email.

12:35 PM

I wish there was a word stronger than love because love is just not cutting it for how I feel about you right now. Ooo having a guest just inspired me to get my apartment all together this weekend. Mission and GO! I just need to stop getting drunk face all the time and this wouldn’t be lingering for so long UGH! MMMMM Kevin. Ooooops, girl moment, that boy. Ugh. Why does he have to be taken? Why does he have to be so normal and manly AND HAVE A HUGE COCK! I made a pros and cons list of him the other day, because that’s about the girliest thing I do when I am trying to convince myself not to like a guy and this time it totally failed because he has way more pros than cons.

Stomach just started hurting, like pukey hurting, I feel nauseous, not good yogurt?

Anyway, yeah my to do list got so long I have to start over and do it chronologically in order to allocate specific times in the day to accomplish said “to dos”. Horrendous. So anyway, keep emailing me until 1:00 so that I can be distracted from this horrible feeling in my stomach. Gross.

If you were to make a graph of this email she sent me it would start out as being really girly, quickly jump up to vulgar (yes, girls do say things like this sometimes when talking about such things because we really do talk about it) back to super girly to sad face you don’t feel well. Would be an interesting graph (and ultra nerd moment of the day of me trying to visualize what the axes would have to be to make this graph legible). Now, me being the good friend that I am, I have to help her through this difficult stomach-grossness moment.

12:41 PM

Oh man. I too have known the downfall of the pro-con list. That’s the biggest tragedy with Mark. Very very very few cons and an out of control number of pros. Like, OUT. OF. CONTROL. I will talk to him soon. This isn’t fair. We’ll see how soon. But ugh, stupid boys. I should have been more forceful with him back in the day when he told me everything. I should have put my foot down. I should have made it clear that I was willing to get hurt to have a chance with him. He’s that fucking special.

Don’t get drunk face! Get prepared face! Or get drunk face then prepared face!

Just looked over at my bed. I hope Johnny doesn’t drool. That’d be gross. I should do laundry anyway. So maybe I’ll do it this weekend. Or today. Or tomorrow. Or Friday. We’ll see. No rush. Except I want all my clothes clean before Tuesday.

Also, I was thinking about putting together cute outfits today. 1) That’s a gross amount of girly, 2) It’s just me procrastinating doing real work, 3) It’s pathetic because I just want to look cute so he’ll notice me and remember why he liked me in the first place, and 4) I hate putting together outfits in a rush so if I knew of some cute ones already, BAM! My life just got easier.

There was something else I was going to write… oh yeah! I forgot to make tea. MAKING TEA!!!

If I am awake for too long without tea, then my desire to be productive (which I keep alluding to throughout this exchange) is overwhelmed by my inability to function any longer. This is something all of my friends know about me and that you (the readers) will eventually figure out. I like to pretend that her delay in write me back was to give me substantial time to make tea. I will assume that I finally made tea at this point in our exchange and returned to my room to find her reply.

12:52 PM

I think the best part of this exchange is just the feeling that I am right there with you. Like really, right there. So I am starting to feel light headed and anxious for some reason. Feeling a little shaky and nauseous. Possibly just need a good night of sleep. Damnit self, there are not enough hours in the day for all that I want to do. I hate it!

There truly are not enough hours in the day sometimes. She continued that email talking about not feeling well and debated working from home. Tune in next week (not really but it’s catchy) for the shocking (probably not so shocking) conclusion!