Shocking Conclusion

 Left off the last post with Natalie pondering her option of working from home because she didn’t feel well. However, at this point in her living situation, she still had not completely conquered the roaches, so going home meant going where they might show up at any second. I did what any good friend would do and offered some legitimate advice. Then jumped back into my usual stance of pretending that work will begin at any given second!

12:57 PM

If the boss is cool with working from home, you should do it. And by home, I think you mean my home. We’ll have a work party! Or you home could be good too, I guess. We can keep up the email chain so we’re right there with each other.

You probably could use a good night of sleep. Then you’ll feel fine. Chalk it up to being tired.

Hilarious thought I had while I was awaiting your reply (seriously me, you have nothing better to do but sit and wait for a reply?!). I was like “Maybe I should send Mark an email to tell him I’m not going to campus, but we should still chat about work stuff tonight”. And then I thought how hilarious it would be if the email went something like this…

Hey Sexy McSexface,

Not going to campus today. Call me. Let’s chat. About work things. Just work things. Okay, we can chat fun things too ;).

Love,

Me

World’s most awkward email? Yes/yes? Just hit him full force. Be all “al or nothing, bitch! Don’t be a pussy!” But that’s a lie. I don’t want nothing. I’d settle for non-awkward friendship. And if it’s him being all “waaaaaah! She likes me. That makes me awkward!” It’s like, really dude, wtfuck, what?! No. I do NOTHING that would make him feel awkward. I treat him less friend-like than I do everyone else because I don’t want to get too close or step on his toes or make him feel awkward. I work really hard for that! I don’t hug him even though I hug everyone else. There are probably other examples. Maybe after I’ve had my tea. Ooh! I’m going to both Roommate! I hear him awake!

It comes up very frequently that I have the attention span of a goldfish and I believe it’s wholly captured in my emails (with everyone, not just her). I also have great aspirations to be productive some days, but it doesn’t usually happen. At least Natalie will acknowledge my awesome ability to sit in front of my computer all day and not manage to get anything done. I mean, it’s still early in the afternoon.

12:59 PM

Awwww, you get gold stars today for the world’s best procrastinator! Now go do work, lady!

This time stamp is my least favorite in the day. Why? Because she goes from Job1 to Job2 at 1 o’clock, and Job2 requires her to actually do work the whole time. I was obviously devastated and expressed it as such via my quick reply.

1:03 PM

Yay gold star!!!!

And NOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT 1 O’CLOCK!!!!!! What will I do all day?!?!?!?! You were inspiring me to do work! To make a list! To do things! You should sporadically email me. Just for funsies. And you can read my ridiculously long replies when you need breaks.

Okay. Movie time. Work time. Woo time!

You would think that without the distractions of rapid exchanging of emails that I would get some work done. This day might have actually been one of those days where I actually was eventually productive. So I fired up the Netflix, did some work, and waited a whole three hours before trying to bother her again. Also during this break from emailing her, I had a conversation with my ex-boyfriend. I wouldn’t describe it as a distressful talk, but it was emotional, as they tend to be.

4:10 PM

My code is taking forever to run. It might be broken. And I’m afraid it won’t even do what I need to do. Sooooooooo yeah. We’ll see how it goes in a bit.

Then maybe I’ll take a break for some cleaning!!!!!

I have little to no motivation. Definitely crashing from crazy fun week o’adventuring. (Oh, and in response to an earlier email that I didn’t acknowledge, yes, my cousin is awesome!)

And right on queue, I’m being that girl about Mark. Just all day feeling bleh. (I think it’s all the emotion from chatting with the ex and what not.) Want to talk to him. Feel like I can’t. Going to send him a work email. Wish I could talk to him sooner rather than later, but I don’t want to make any of next week’s festivities awkward or weird in any way.

What are you doing on Saturday? Want to do work together all day? I’ll come up to campus and work with you if you want :).

Working is less fun without our emailing back and forth. Boo you and working hard.

If she really held on to my every word, that last sentence would be detrimental to her job. She apparently has better self control than I do, with work and boy-thinking and other things, I’m sure. The email jumps around because I feel like there was a lot going on in my head. Sometimes I have a hard time processing it all and writing it out seems to help organize my thoughts. I know it doesn’t look like it. This email touched on just about every subject we had covered already in the day but in a haphazard manner. Natalie is lovely in that she puts up with my shenanigans and eventually responds to me.

5:02 PM

Hahaha. So I just literally came to write you an email because I’m falling asleep here at my desk and don’t want to drink coffee because then I’ll get home wide awake and I want to go to bed early. But anyway, EXHAUSTED! This report is starting to kill me, but I love it and can’t wait to see it in its entirety. But anyway, so yeah, not able to even try and go home early because my boss was like, “Okay, and do this and this and this…” crazy! Speaking of which, I should get back to that. Hmmmm… diet coke! Yes! Okay caffeine intake engage!

Okay, work time.

And GO!

(And you lady better get things done so we can go out Thursday. Oh, and Saturday I am going shopping all morning then organizing in the afternoon (curtains, bookshelf, etc).

This time, I took her advice. My next email reply wasn’t for a little over an hour, so some proof that I must have been working. Motivation can come in many forms, and sometimes that is in the form of going out for a couple beers. Most of the email is more of my mopey ranting, but there was one gem within it. I won’t share it word for word, but just describe the situation.

I had spent that whole day sitting in my room pretending I was going to start doing serious work at any given second. The fact is that I just wanted to sit by myself and relax for a day. My roommates were doing yoga in the living room during the evening, and I didn’t want to interrupt it. In my reply to Natalie, I wrote that I had to pee. I proceeded to leave the email open and unsent, left my cave to run to the bathroom (which didn’t require bothering the yoga-ers), and came back and wrote “Back!” in the middle of said email. The only reason I’m including this pointless and boring story is to acknowledge that our emails tend to be like everyday conversation.

This might be the lamest conclusion to an email chain. I feel like it all started off very strong. The best part about this last segment might be the irony in the title. As the day wore on, we became more and more like real adults and less like procrastinating students. Well, one of us did. I continued to procrastinate and occasionally do a little work. Also, she has a real job (well, real jobs), and I’m technically a student. So I guess we were fulfilling our roles effectively.